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Outback Crossing Review

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× Talk abut Movies & TV here. Just tell us what you have been watching. Have hyper-academic discussions on visual semiotics. Whatever, it's all good.

ALERT: BOARD GAMING MOVIE ON NETFLIX

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13 Oct 2017 18:53 #255693 by Michael Barnes
And it's not Jumanji or Zathustra! Although, it only takes about 10 minutes for a character to say and I quote "this is some Jumanji shit".

It's called 13 Daemons. It's about these gamer guys (who appear to not be acting in both senses of the phrase) that mess around with the titular board game, which was apparently BANNED because people became obsessed with it and killed people. So copies of it were burned in the streets. So one of the dudes gets a hold of one, comes storming into his buddy's bachelor pad and sweeps a game of "Bridges and Knights" off the table to show off the game. They look at the miniatures and one of the guys says "Die cast...that's how you know it's quality!" So of course they decide to play it, and what follows is an uncomfortably accurate depiction of what it is like to play a game for the first time with someone who doesn't have a duke of an idea how to teach, let alone play, the game. While having another player that hates everything about it instantly.

I kind of stopped watching it from there because it is unwatchably bad. One character's dialogue, I swear is literally phoned in. As in, they realized after shooting that his level wasn't high enough and had to get him to re-record his lines over the phone. I skimmed through, predictably the guys become obsessed with the game and come to believe they are some kind of Golden Paladins and wind up killing people.

Anyway, it is clearly written/directed by someone who knows board games. Which may explain their incompetence as a filmmaker.
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14 Oct 2017 21:30 #255731 by PavingMantis

Michael Barnes wrote: Anyway, it is clearly written/directed by someone who knows board games. Which may explain their incompetence as a filmmaker.


This paragraph is a perfect piece of writing.
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15 Oct 2017 18:13 #255747 by drewcula
With beer in hand (soon belly), I watched it.
It was ambitious, and a fine diversion for 75 minutes.
However, the pacing and editing is so painfully inept, those 75 minutes feel like 3 hours.
It's amateur hour with some nice equipment.
Score, rotoscoping effects, and premise are fun. Even one of the three principals acted well! To be fair; the actors weren't given the best material.
There are worse ways to waste time drinking beer.

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15 Oct 2017 19:37 #255751 by metalface13
This sounds amazing. But btw, it's 13 Demons, no "a" took me a minute to find it on Netflix.

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15 Oct 2017 22:40 #255758 by hotseatgames
Out of morbid curiosity, I watched this abomination. Funnily enough, it's only 75 minutes long, but it feels like it should be 45 minutes long. Scenes are drawn out needlessly all the time.

And the last scene... ugh. There was ONE good line... "You have been tainted by the maiden's wizard sleeve!"

Also, they weren't tracking their inventory at all. ;)
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16 Oct 2017 08:46 #255767 by Josh Look
It’s not the first horror movie about board games on Netflix. There’s also Beyond the Gates, which has to be the worst horror movie I’ve watched the Halloween season. It’s based on the VHS games of the 90s and even drops a few names, but there were zero redeeming qualities in the thing. Maybe the intro credits. Those weren’t bad.

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