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Secret Satan 2018 - Gifts Received Thread
- stormseeker75
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- stormseeker75
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Here's Powder sniffing the box. Surely it contains terrible things!
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467169/stormseeker75
A nice note from Old Scratch!
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467170/stormseeker75
Where the hell did you send this from that it cost $22????
Here's layer one:
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467171/stormseeker75
Does Satan own a grain mill in Canada?
Under that is some actual games. Oddly, I don't have regular Catan so happy to have that one. I am famously quoted as saying "Martin Wallace can suck my balls" after playing God's Playground, so Satan knows how to rub salt in the wounds.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467172/stormseeker75
Another layer, and more games! Curious about XCOM. I've always wanted to host a murder mystery.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467173/stormseeker75
More games under that! Plus some Hot Wheels cars for Gaslands.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467174/stormseeker75
A bag of armor bits and weapons for Gaslands! I needed more of this stuff.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467177/stormseeker75
The true spirit of Secret Satan: Sending an expansion for a game you don't have and couldn't get if you wanted to. Dick move, Morningstar!
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467178/stormseeker75
When 3D printing goes awry. I'll use this for a sweet piece of Gaslands scenery.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467179/stormseeker75
Here's a better shot of all the Hot Wheels cars in the box. There's some great stuff in here, especially the monster trucks.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467181/stormseeker75
Last, but not least, Leviathans? There were some boards as well. I have a friend who's into steampunk that will love these.
boardgamegeek.com/image/4467180/stormseeker75
How the flying flip do I get this thing to show actual pictures?
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The note was simple, word-processed. My fate was determined, it read, long before my name was given form. I make my wage listing items for sale on eBay, and as such I am no stranger to what lurked in this package - the INFERNAL MANUFACTURINGS OF GAMES WORKSHOP.
No! I am free of their hold! They are but what puts food on my table and gasoline in my car! You will not control me, Satan!
The gate to Hell is nicely painted.
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Too lazy to post pictures here? Sloth!stormseeker75 wrote: boardgamegeek.com/image/4467170/fuckyou
But not with good intentions.rocketkiwi wrote: The gate to Hell is nicely painted.
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- Black Barney
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So, let's look into the abyss shall we?
Is that bubble wrap or the tears streaming down my face from the mixture of joy and brimstone?
Seriously, Satan must have worked a deal with Alexa and/or Facebook because this is literally the game I have been talking
about getting for the last few weeks. All hail his all seeing/all knowing presence.
I love the name of this game, kudos to the pun devil/overlord
Satan knows you are lonely, so he sends expansions so that the game plays itself...Cruel but fair.
Played a quick game of "This Town isn't big enough for the 2-4 of us" with the wife since she wasn't quite up for a Martin Wallace deep dive when I have not read the rules yet.
And, as is the Secret Satan Tradition, I burned the games after each play...wait, what? That's not the tradition? Son of a....
Edit: Fuck me, I can't get those images to appear inline.
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- Disgustipater
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Disgustipater wrote: I aint about to spend all that time clicking all these links...
Agreed but to quote stormseeker how the flying flip do you get the images to appear?
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https://imgur.com/Pq37WS3
https://i.imgur.com/Pq37WS3.jpg
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- stormseeker75
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After the file uploads, an insert button will appear next to the Add File button. Position your cursor where you want the picture to appear and click insert.
Also, another Add File box will appear. So you can upload and insert the nest picture.
TLDR - Add File, then Insert
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First thing to be revealed: some sort of miniature tank. What could it mean, my dark lord?
Next, a computer game manual....from 1996. Well played, Satan. Well fucking played.
A weird ass sticker and some comics:
Holy. Shit. Now the real evil has shown itself. A belt holster for a six pack of beer. The enemy’s birthday celebration has now been made more tolerable.
Finally, a copy of The Mind. I’ve been wanting this for a while. I think my family will really enjoy this one. Thanks Satan!
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Upon opening the box, I was greeted by a rubber, pop-eyed devil and a postcard with a cute puppy that says "I clogged your toilet." On the back of the postcard is a message from ol' Scratch informing me that I suck and that he's gifting me with "garbage." This is known as foreshadowing.
After digging through packing material consisting of brown paper and trash bags (I'll come back to those), I find my first piece of joy: a bundle of punched out sheets from some game, which I'm guessing is Gloomhaven based on the note on the back of another postcard from Satan that is attached to said bundle.
Next up is Hope City:
This is a game I've never heard of, but which I have since looked up to learn is a game that was kickstarted into existence by 172 people. Only 73, however, will admit to owning it on BGG.
Digging a bit deeper brings me to a copy of Bloodsuckers, which looks like it has previously been opened and then badly re-shrinkwrapped.
Finally, at the bottom of this well of despair is Warhammer 40K Dark Millennium, a supplement to something I neither own or play:
As a bonus, there appears to be something growing on the inside of the box:
Satan, you may think you provided me with nothing but worthless garbage, but you're wrong. You did provide me something useful:
Until next year, Satan, until next year...
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- SuperflyPete
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