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An update on my life

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09 Feb 2016 14:53 #222084 by Ancient_of_MuMu
Some of you may recall that I mentioned a couple of years ago that my wife had breast cancer. Over 2014 the treatment went fine, she had her breast removed, endured chemotherapy and radiotherapy and got back to her life as a university lecturer. At the end of November last year with everything still clear, she had her other breast removed as a preventative measure and both breasts reconstructed (so she has porn star shaped boobs now). There were a few complications with the reconstruction as her new breasts were built from her legs, which meant she couldn't walk well, and one of her leg wounds kept reopening delaying her recovery. This meant that she was lying around a lot and her back was naturally getting very stiff and sore.

This back pain took a nasty turn last Thursday when she suddenly lost the ability to walk. Upon entry to hospital they found her breast cancer had spread to her spine which is devastating news. Normally once you start getting secondary cancers your life expectancy is a handful of years, but there are people who recover to lead a relatively normal life after spinal cancer, but we have no idea where she sits on the spectrum of probable outcomes until they perform more tests and see how everything responds to treatment.

The one ray of light we have had so far is that yesterday she was allowed to attempt to walk for the first time since Thursday, and she can slowly shuffle along with the aid of a walking frame and is expected to get stronger and may only need a walking stick. This means that she is likely to be able to come home soon, which makes a huge difference to her quality of life, as the second most devastating thing about this (after the thought she may not have long to live) was the fact that any remaining time would be spent in hospitals and not able to take part in any meaningful way in life with her family and friends.

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09 Feb 2016 14:57 #222086 by hotseatgames
Replied by hotseatgames on topic An update on my life
So are her boobs shaped like Ron Jeremy?
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09 Feb 2016 15:00 #222087 by Black Barney
Replied by Black Barney on topic An update on my life
The other ray of light is that she has porn star shaped b00bs! Whatever that means! I hope one of them is shaped like Lexi Belle.

Hope she gets home soon, Mumu! Enjoy all the time you have together. Every moment counts. You could have decades left together, or you might not. Impossible to know so live your lives like tomorrow doesn't exist.

Thanks for the update and know that we're thinking of you.
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09 Feb 2016 15:01 - 09 Feb 2016 15:03 #222089 by jeb
Replied by jeb on topic An update on my life
Good for her, AoM. I'm glad she's coming home, that can help a lot mentally, for sure. My mother capped off surviving Stage III bowel cancer by getting a hit by a car and breaking her knee a couple months after chemo. She was kind of languishing in the hospital setting, doped out of her mind, but came back to life once moved back home, and in a weird parallel, she also took her first steps (since Nov) this AM!

Stay strong and keep in touch. We care about you.

//edit: Like the others are saying, we need more info on this boob situation. You guys went with frame-appropriate perkies, or too-hell-with-it mams? We care about this too.
Last edit: 09 Feb 2016 15:03 by jeb.
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09 Feb 2016 15:01 #222090 by Michael Barnes
Replied by Michael Barnes on topic An update on my life
Best to you guys- hope things turn out for the best here, I know the fear and uncertainty is harder to deal with on a day to day level than anything else.
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09 Feb 2016 15:07 #222092 by Cranberries
Replied by Cranberries on topic An update on my life
I am so sorry to hear about this secondary cancer and the unimaginable situation you have found yourself in. I somehow missed your earlier announcement about your wife's health. I hope there is something that we can do as a community to help you with this.
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09 Feb 2016 15:23 #222095 by metalface13
Replied by metalface13 on topic An update on my life
I didn't hear about your wife's initial cancer. Sucks the cancer has spread, I hope she comes home soon so you guys can pull together and regroup as a family.

Sending prayers/thoughts/porn-star shaped positive vibes your way.
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09 Feb 2016 15:57 #222099 by Sagrilarus
Replied by Sagrilarus on topic An update on my life
Do you have other family there to help? Having someone to spell you off when she's in the hospital is necessary, no matter how much you want to do it all yourself.
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09 Feb 2016 15:58 - 09 Feb 2016 15:59 #222100 by Frohike
Replied by Frohike on topic An update on my life
I wish you guys strength and happiness in whatever unfolds, and I'm really glad she's home.

My wife is still in amazonian mode from her own treatment, and is now also a cyborg since she broke her wrist last month.

It's needless and powerless to say that my "thoughts are with you", but know that they really are. Hoping for the best.
Last edit: 09 Feb 2016 15:59 by Frohike.
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09 Feb 2016 16:11 #222101 by ChristopherMD
Replied by ChristopherMD on topic An update on my life
Don't worry about the odds. People beat those all the time. Try to stay positive.
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09 Feb 2016 16:22 #222105 by OldHippy
Replied by OldHippy on topic An update on my life
Best of luck man, stay strong, enjoy the little moments and avoid accepting shitty advice in the form of weak platitudes from nobodies like me.

I'll put in a good word for you with the big guy, I'm a believer so I have that power.
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09 Feb 2016 17:00 - 10 Feb 2016 04:11 #222110 by Ancient_of_MuMu
Thanks for all the kind words. I am not surprised that many missed the initial cancer as I only made a few comments about it in passing, as we didn't want to treat it as a life defining moment and more as a tough year that we had to endure.

In Australia there are really only 2 major cities so once you are born in one you tend to stay there your entire life, so all our family members are close by. We have good public health care in Australia so this won't financially cripple us. So the main cost of all this is emotional.

In that same vein as fashion designers have decided that all models should be waif thin with high cheekbones and large eyes, plastic surgeons have decided that all breasts should be perfectly circular, with the nipple perfectly centred and gravity defying so they look the same in every position, and this is what currently greets me when I look at my wife's chest, rather than the more normal look with more mass below the nipple.
Last edit: 10 Feb 2016 04:11 by Ancient_of_MuMu.
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09 Feb 2016 17:10 #222114 by Hatchling
Replied by Hatchling on topic An update on my life
Thanks for letting us know, MuMu. My thoughts are with you and your wife from the other side of earth.

Fuck cancer!
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09 Feb 2016 17:27 - 09 Feb 2016 17:29 #222117 by SuperFlySwatter
I work with this (I'm a medical physicist in radiotherapy) but I will only say try not to play the guessing game or listening to advice from other people, or the internet. Get your information directly from your consultant oncologist and care centre as soon as they have it. I see this every day and still have no idea what to say to people going through it at the other end. I can tell you that there are a lot of people involved in your wifes care path and they will all be doing their damnedest to provide an answer to this, but that won't help you two get through the nightmare of having to wait for the facts, and then deal with whatever they are. If you want to talk out of the public forum, shoot me a mail, but fingers crossed its a positive outcome.

You're in Australia? Sydney? the head of oncology (physics) was my old boss, nice guy, and one of the very best, they have a great department there, but a lot of my friends and colleagues have worked in Brisbane and some of the other bigger centres, its quite popular as a career enhancing move away from the UK.
Last edit: 09 Feb 2016 17:29 by SuperFlySwatter.
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09 Feb 2016 17:55 #222125 by Ancient_of_MuMu
No, I am in Melbourne. It had been very frustrating in terms of information as an inability to walk means that she meant that she was admitted under neurology. Now only 4 days after they found the lesions they have decided things are 'stable', she is being passed into the care of the oncology department. Which means all our information so far has been about the damage to her spine, and nothing about the cancer or her possible treatments or her long term prospects.

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