Tough read re: being a woman in the games industry

Then we should maybe be discussing a strategy on how we will address that? I’m not sure our usual “let’s call them out” will work cuz those guys really seem to own it

Maybe we could start reaching out to women at BGG. Contact them via PM and just let them know that we would welcome their participation here at TWBG.

WOMEN: WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING thread. Hijack it. Post that TWBG is a viable "safe space".

ubarose wrote: Let's not do that. It's way creepy.

Not to mention - and you know I love you Pete - that often crude language/jokes/etc are going to act as a deterrent. When someone doesn't know a person, you aren't going to get the benefit of the doubt. I love the statement Michael posted and it's great that it went front and center but I've seen a few posts also on the top of the forums that would cause a lot of women (and others) I know to bounce right off the atmosphere here without ever landing to check it out.

The strategy for if/when these assholes show up is zero-tolerance and aggressive moderation. No both-sides-ism, no appeals to moderation, no concern for civility over morality. I saw someone on twitter today compare The Dice Tower's women-led video on harassment to the video above and imply that the noble intelligent position is in the middle between them. To hell with that.

Dude, I hardly post here anymore about anything. This statement basically makes me want to do so even less.

I’ll see myself out. Personally, I’d rather have a fouler mouthed guy who will knock a fucker’s teeth out for harassing me than someone who is soft spoken and will watch it unfold then go write a blog about it, but I’m not a woman, so I guess I can’t say what’s better.

The fucked up part in all of this “tough being a woman in boardgames” misses is that it’s tough being a woman in America, period, and fandoms of virtually all stripes simply takes the worst offenders with the least social skills and lumps them in a nasty little cesspool. That’s what my wife was alluding to...a lot of men suck in a lot of venues, and boardgames is no different. I don’t expect shit to change in games because no matter how much gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands is done because people drawn to the hobby are mostly passive aggressive types who will go write a blog or go get on twitter and bitch and use solidarity hashtags but not do fuck all when they witness it firsthand.

It’s like Facebook activists changing their profile pic to a flag for a week. Sure, you feel like a righteous person but what did you really do but virtue signal to your already like/minded circle of friends?

#peaceout

oh no, pete left again!

SuperflyTNT wrote: Dude, I hardly post here anymore about anything. This statement basically makes me want to do so even less.

I hope you do post more! The industry needs more people like you willing to unequivocally plant your flag on one side of the line. Please don't get me wrong, especially as a relative new-comer here. I'm in some very small, more private communities where people feel a little more comfortable putting their guard down so I'm basing my statement off of what I've heard them say. You're 100% right; it's hard in gaming and America for women which is why it doesn't take much for some of them to pull back. It's about how willing they are to expose themselves to potential risk.

I get that. I'm a recently naturalized Hispanic immigrant. Maybe the guy at work with Info Wars/MAGA stickers on his pick up is a cool dude but I'm not gonna open myself up to that right now.

rafcordero wrote: Maybe the guy at work with Info Wars/MAGA stickers on his pick up is a cool dude

He's not.

rafcordero wrote:

SuperflyTNT wrote: Dude, I hardly post here anymore about anything. This statement basically makes me want to do so even less.

I hope you do post more! The industry needs more people like you willing to unequivocally plant your flag on one side of the line. Please don't get me wrong, especially as a relative new-comer here. I'm in some very small, more private communities where people feel a little more comfortable putting their guard down so I'm basing my statement off of what I've heard them say. You're 100% right; it's hard in gaming and America for women which is why it doesn't take much for some of them to pull back. It's about how willing they are to expose themselves to potential risk.

I get that. I'm a recently naturalized Hispanic immigrant. Maybe the guy at work with Info Wars/MAGA stickers on his pick up is a cool dude but I'm not gonna open myself up to that right now.

Bro, you literally just said that women would not want to come here because I'm as equal a threat with jokes and foul language than a guy who is going to skeev on them. Seriously.

SuperflyTNT wrote:
Bro, you literally just said that women would not want to come here because I'm as equal a threat with jokes and foul language than a guy who is going to skeev on them. Seriously.

If that is what I implied, then I truly apologize. It's not what I meant, and I shouldn't have called you out like that. I edited half my post before making it and should have re-read it. It's not you specifically; I myself advocated with being ok with 'motherfucker' in the statement and that too may not send the right message even in context.

Any person who goes to every movie will hear FUCK nowadays. You hear it in the streets.

In Mexico, chingar- and all its permutations are all over. Same in Canada, home of the most polite people on Earth.

If women are scared of seeing “fuck” (pro tip: they’re not) then I don’t know what safe space exists anymore.

I was about to launch into a tirade of the hypocrisy of some of the people here all of the sudden becoming huge advocates for women not being treated as sexual objects but y’all know who you are and Jesus knows you’re hypocrites or recent converts. I’m not getting into it but one thing can be sure: I’m the same salty fuck in person.

One other thing: If you want to talk the talk, walk the walk. If you’re at a gaming event ( or bar, or at your friend’s house) and hear someone being a racist or misogynist and do absolutely nothing then make allusions to that person on Facebook or whatever, you’re a sack of shit. Confront people. Don’t allow it. I know games attract the passive aggressive types who whisper “Dick” under their breath but if you want change, stop being such a pussy. Stand up. Stop people then, and there.

Uh, for a guy with fucks and tell people pussy, you're sure very sensitive, Pete. Guy tells you to chill down with the fucks. Don't like it, fine. Nowhere he says your filthy mouth equals sexual harassment. People can be disturbed by either, to different degrees. No need for the diatribe.

The implication is that women he has private discussions on the subject about would be turned off by a site that unequivocally denounces harassment and objectification becuase of one or two members who curse.

Not a mention of a certain member and his continually libido-driven posts, which I would think are 1000x more disincentive than someone saying fuck.

So, with all due respect, I’m not sensitive, I’m dumbfounded. Which is fine. Y’all do you, I’ll do me.