What do you do with cheaters?

[nod to Chapel for this thread idea]

I can't remember the last time that I caught somebody cheating at a game. It was probably during a game of Illuminati 20 years ago, and we were using the optional cheating rule anyway. I guess that I game with basically decent people. Or maybe it's because the rules lawyer jerks tended to police the rules so closely, though I no longer play with any rules lawyers either.

So I don't even know what I would do if I caught somebody cheating. Announce it to everybody in the game, while pointing my finger at the cheater. Probably try to exploit the situation to my advantage by encouraging everybody to attack the cheater in-game, assuming there is sufficient interaction in the game.

How would you handle a cheater?

Tell them that their tour ends here and to get the fuck off the bus!

I sometimes game with this guy who is one of these "Win at all costs" type people.
So I usually try to pick games where it is very hard to cheat.

I did catch him cheating at "Bohnanza". It is easy to cheat at that game. You have to keep your hand of cards in order and this guy was pulling beans from anywhere in his deck.

He was exposed, shamed, and his crop was uprooted.

He was caught again while playing "Can't Stop". He would roll the dice and quickly turn them under the guise of putting together scoring combinations.

I don't know what anybody gets out of cheating in a game. Especially a game that is just played for fun.

Recent news stories reveal a disgusting amount of students now cheating in school, so I guess it is logical to assume that this dishonest behavior would follow them to their recreational pursuits as well.

The university I work at takes cheating pretty seriously -- I think it is immediate academic probabion in minor offenses and then expulsion in major offenses. However, things like cheating is usually eclipsed by more ridiculous shit. For instance, the last disciplinary committee I was on concerned two female roommates. One of them had their boyfriend sleep over. The boyfriend proceeded to get drunk and piss in the other roommate's recently deceased father's urn (why it was at college, I don't know, but the girl was pretty traumatized).

Didn't I read in the F:AT Terms & Conditions that if a cheat is discovered then table tossing is mandatory?

EDIT- Or was it defenestration?

Dear Space Ghost,

More stories please!

Thanks,

Ska

Since I'm playing games I never encountered anybody cheating. I also don't really pay attention to whether other players are cheating or not.

I have to confess though that I sometimes cheat although very rarely and only in extreme situations, for example when I count something through, resolve an action based on my calculations and then find out that I made a mistake. For example in a game of TI3 I played the pirates and was able to salvage enemy ships after a won combat. I destroyed a Warsun, but only had 11 resource points to spend and salvage it.

I usually play very fast and occasionally make some mistakes, which I only encounter after my action is over, mostly things I just forgot to do in my turn. If any of my fellow players ask to undo something, I'll allow them to do so, especially if the process only takes a few seconds. However, when playing against somebody who is very eager for winning and doesn't allow any mistake to be unmade, I don't ask whether I could undo something, but just cheat and do it. I'm not stupid so this doesn't happen often, in fact never in low complexity games.

Playing games for me is not about winning, but about having fun and exploiting mistakes, which were clearly dumb, is no fun to me. I don't want to win because one player didn't completely grasp the rules.

So when asked what to do with a cheater I have to first check if he cheated on purpose and ruined the flow of the game. It's also important whether he shows remorse or not. If I caught somebody cheating, I wouldn't outright deny playing with somebody ever again, especially since I mostly play games with my friends.

I create a distraction at the table then go into cahoots with the cheater. I find its often good to stash an extra copy of the game in the bathroom for needed cards/chits. My copy of Mare Nostrum is waterproof and completely submergable.

Some other tips:
-keep a variety of loaded dice on hand in multiple colors.
-use the old "spilt drink" routine when you need to swap things out or get a glimpse of others cards.
-always volunteer to keep score/ be banker.
-use one of those remote doorbell chimes to interrupt the game at crucial moments.

Theres a ton more but I don't want to give away my (and my fellow cheaters in arms) secrets...

Steve"5 Aces"Avery

Killing them with fire is recommended, but cleanup is a real bear. You're going to want a new mop, some baking soda--like a Costco sized box, and lots of baggies--you'll need to spread that shit all over town.

We have an UNsummoner in our game group, who is very adept at making things undone and replacing his undone stuff with things he supposedly wanted to do in the first place. He is also a 21st level chronomancer.

I cheat constantly. The thing is, I never realize I am until somebody audits my turn and realizes that I can't perform simple addition or something.

The one that drives me completely and absolutely insane is dice manipulators. People who don't roll fucking dice correctly, they instead carefully hover it barely above the table and sort of flip it to try to get the result they want. It drives me fucking insane, there is one guy I play with who does this. Yes. I see you doing that. I know what you're trying to do, AND I DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT.

And it's tough. I guess I should call him on it--"roll your fucking dice like a man you idiot." But it doesn't always work and it feels so minor. God damn.

Cheaters? Out the fucking airlock.

What pisses me off more than the cheaters, though, are the limp-wristed candyasses who are afraid to do anything about the cheaters. It seems like every 3 months or so there's a thread at some other site where someone asks what to do about them and much handwringing ensues. "Oh, we mustn't offend anyone's feelings! Perhaps if we dropped gentle hints." Even when the whole game group wants the guy gone. Pansies. (And right now I'm looking at you, Mr. Sax.)

I'm a very fair player apart from the stuff mentioned above.

There's one easy trick when rolling dice to have one die always show the result you want, but I don't use it as does my friend who taught it to me.

In some games I really don't care whether someone is cheating. For example the same friend in a game of CHEZ GEEK slammed a card on the table acting as if it was the one which let you search through the discard pile and pick one card. Everybody believed he played the right card, but he just used one which looks similar and quickly shuffled it into the discard pile. After the game he revealed the trick and everybody laughed except for the player who was targeted by the card picked from the discard pile. He would have won.