Women and the Old Boys Club

Has that pick-up line ever worked? "Send them into my pants?"



Wait, crap, now I'm doing it.

I don't think there's any one answer like the OP asks. For me to explain you first have to look at the assumptions associated with gaming.

Gaming is traditionally assumed to be a "boys thing" so when a woman sits down at the table the instant thought is either: "She's a gamer, she must be a freak" or "She's a gamer, we have something in common, I have a chance to get in her pants"

Which leads into the next assumption that gamers are socially inept or more specifically socially inept with the opposite gender (as detailed in the second line of thought that runs thru a gamer's head when a female sits down for a game).

The last assumption is gamers are unattractive/nerdy/dorks...etc. So once it is realized that an adventure in someone else's pants isn't in the cards, all the "unattractive" traits associated with gamers are applied to the female.

So I see it as a perfect storm of sorts with many assumptions colliding, and in many cases those assumptions have some truth to them which in turn creates awkwardness all around.

Now as I see it there are three ways to deal with the awkwardness:
-Do nothing and let everyone be awkward until the game is over
-Recgonizing an opportunity to improve social skills with the opposite gender and in turn work to debunk one of the assumptions
-Go back to the old ways to get everyone feeling at ease (with the excpetion of the unfortunate female to sit down at the table)

Since the first option leaves everyone awkward that isn't the best choice since everyone is unhappy with the status quo. The second option would involve work of sorts and since this is a hobby to distract you from work people don't take advantage of the situation for self improvement. The last option is the path of least resistance by allowing people to just slide back into their old ways leaving one person feeling awkward and ignore the "problem".

There's some more assumptions, but I think ultimatly it is a lack of social skills combined with no prospect of sex that creates the awkward situation.

LvT

I find it hilarious when a girl or woman used to sit down at the game store table back in the day. You'd have the following:


1. Guy who would furtively stare at his cards and sweat, and try to get a glimpse down her shirt if at all possible.

2. Guy who ramped things up to 11, talking LOUDLY, explaining EVERYTHING in the game in painstaking detail to the girl as if he's her shining knight, making loud, lame jokes, doing everything possible to look like the "alpha male" at the table. As if some girl were going to go, "Oh my god, you just told me how to purchase troops. I totally want to make out with you now."

3. Guy who literally pretended she wasn't there, and seemed angry that she was. Uba got this guy exactly right.



Every. Time.



I was the "normal" one at the table, because golly gee, I had a girlfriend, I could get dates, so I didn't see "game night" as my RARE chance to do some sort of bizarre mating ritual. My friends' wives and girlfriends have all gamed with the "larger group" and we're generally able to control ourselves. Possibly even no farting. The sacrifices we make.


In fact, I'm *worse* at an all-guy table, and have been guilty of derailing entire games because we start cracking jokes. Mostly at the expense of Steve Avery.

These are all good, insightful comments, but they seem to be addressing a situation in which the woman is playing at a table where she doesn't know the other players personally.

Does the Old Boys Club phenomenon still arise when the woman knows all of the men? What if she's not the only woman at the table?

1. Guy who would furtively stare at his cards and sweat, and try to get a glimpse down her shirt if at all possible.

2. Guy who ramped things up to 11, talking LOUDLY, explaining EVERYTHING in the game in painstaking detail to the girl as if he's her shining knight, making loud, lame jokes, doing everything possible to look like the "alpha male" at the table. As if some girl were going to go, "Oh my god, you just told me how to purchase troops. I totally want to make out with you now."

3. Guy who literally pretended she wasn't there, and seemed angry that she was. Uba got this guy exactly right.



Every. Time.

You're right. I've found it saves time to 1. Ask her directly to take her shirt off
and 2. Just declare yourslef alpha male and wrestle the next largest person to the ground. Then you lift the victim overhead and roar.

BTW for what its worth I think Uba does a great job of holding her own against the onslaught of the other gender.

Steve"Boobs&Bombs"Avery

Has that pick-up line ever worked? "Send them into my pants?"

Works all the time, with the right delivery. Delivery is everything. Don't fall for these women being offended crap. They love it!!!

Nice guys finish last, they really do.

Interesting.

There's one woman in our regular group who comes intermittently due to her work. She usually gives trashtalk as well as she takes it.

Interesting.

There's one woman in our regular group who comes intermittently due to her work. She usually gives trashtalk as well as she takes it.

That is my case as well. I think Uba is just upset because it was pointed out that the first computer programmer WAS NOT a woman.

the*mad*gamer wrote:

Nice guys finish last, they really do.

fortunately, life is not a competition.

fortunately, life is not a competition.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1336/900032650_b23962ad2b.jpg?v=0


I stand corrected. Now pass the Sesame chicken

Male homosociality among a couple of my friends has murdered the fun in games a couple of times. When I have people over to my place for games, there usually is about the same number of men and women, if not more women than men. There is a nice balance between general banter and focus on the game, until it's a woman's turn and then suddenly, like clockwork, this one guy jumps on the figurative stage and performs loudly to his buds while ignoring what the woman is doing on her turn. This really bugs me because it is like clockwork during women’s turns, and because there is almost always something much more interesting going on in the game than is going on when a loud self-absorbed manchild is nattering on. This is one of the reasons I have become reluctant to invite this guy over. Thankfully, the vast majority of people I play with are socially aware.

I think you are right. It all boils down to the average gamer's lack of social skills.

Like Ken, I've never altered my gaming behavior just because there was a woman at the table. I make the same kinds of jokes, comments, gestures, whatever, and treat all of my opponents equally. We usually have at least one woman at my boardgame days, because my regulars include a married pair of gamers. And Thaadd has been over for games a couple of times. Funny thing about Thaadd, on both occasions, she seemed to be having fun until the last hour or so, when I get the impression that she has become annoyed with me. That's probably a natural reaction to my slightly abrasive personality.