The New Conan Film

So, apparently there's a real trailer out now:

trailers.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/conanthebarbarian/

Now, I'm not one that thinks all remakes/revisions are bad. For example, I think the '90 Night of the Living Dead is superior to the original. That said, I'm not impressed with the look of this film.

Outside of whether the actor better portrays Conan than Arnold did, or if this is a better telling of a REH tale, this film just doesn't have the 'feel' of the Hyborian Age. Well, how I've envisioned it.

To me, the Milius film felt like an ancient time. It was dirty, amoral, and violent. It _felt_ like a story in the Conan universe. The sets looked real, the fact that the actors didn't all look like models (that and the good and bad characters alike looked, well, human), the pace of the story and life of the characters. All felt spot on. And the music...one of the best soundtracks ever. The original Conan film straight out kicks ass.

This new film on the other hand, looks like it's better suited as a Prince of Persia or Scorpion King movie. It's too fast. CGI everywhere. And what's with all the explosions? The good are beautiful and the bad ugly. Not sure why there's rock guitar riffs, did we learn nothing with Krull?

So, again, I have no idea if the story is far superior or the actor is a better Cimmerian. All I know is is that this isn't the Conan film I was hoping to see.

Here is my response i made a few days ago on another site:

I would love to be extra critical that this movie looks like it'll be a train wreck in the making. But who am I kidding? I'm a ho for all things Conan, and I'm sure I'll be right there in line, at midnight, on a Thursday for 2 hours of Hyborian goodness(or bad). What can I say, I'm a follower of CROM! so I'm a glutton for punishment...

I'll probably watch it too, unlike Chapel I'll probably watch it on netflix or dvd when it leaves the theatre. It looks too sexy and cool. Two featrues I hate in modern film/television. I wish they still used character faces as much as sexy faces. But it's just not as big anymore.

I love the first one (and only the first one) but don't really consider it a Conan film, it's a sword and socery film but it's not really Conan. Changing his backstory is a huge crime to the character. Having him hunt for revenge all film and have his family killed is much, much different then suffering from wanderlust.

I liked that Conan didn't have a reason to go from town to town other then he was curious and had heard stories. I like that he just left his people and that they were still there if he ever wanted... but he didn't want. That was a unique property for Conan. Why did he travel... fuck, he wanted to, he's a peripatetic. But the movie had to make it a movie and Conan is not a movie, he's a series of fluid stories set across many incidents and not directly tied together other then some loose framework. That made him more mythic and mysterious to me. The movie took alot of that away. Also, Arnie looks like a body builder, not a barbarian. The comics do the same thing. I kind of wish they would go with some really hairy, you know, barbaric looking guy instead.

In any case the Arnie movie is still the best fantasy movie I've ever seen and I love it, It's just not Conan to me. This one looks like shit, fun shit, but shit.

Chapel wrote: Here is my response i made a few days ago on another site:

I would love to be extra critical that this movie looks like it'll be a train wreck in the making. But who am I kidding? I'm a ho for all things Conan, and I'm sure I'll be right there in line, at midnight, on a Thursday for 2 hours of Hyborian goodness(or bad). What can I say, I'm a follower of CROM! so I'm a glutton for punishment...

Notice I didn't say I wouldn't see it.

F:AT viewing at a Drafthouse?

I couldn't give a rats fucking ass about this film.
With Arnold now back in movies we could have gotten Milius' King Conan next year. Instead we get this straight-to-video looking crap.

The first Conan film was pretty much the perfect Conan film (sorry Jon, but I have never brought the "It's not really Conan" argument that some try to argue - Conan is more than an unknown backstory and Milius understood the essence of Conan and Howards outlook on life far better than the majority of people who have written the character.)

Basil's score is one of the great film scores of all time.

I MIGHT download this film for free one day if I'm bored. Fuck paying to see it though.

I had to join just to comment on this.

If no one ever said "Conan" in the trailer or they didn't flash the "Conan" title, I would have chalked this up as some shitty fantasy film.

I'm a big fan of the books, movies, and all that - this was disappointing. I gotta agree, only way I'm gonna see this is if it streams on netflix. Even putting it on my queue is to costly.

Mr Skeletor wrote: I couldn't give a rats fucking ass about this film.
With Arnold now back in movies we could have gotten Milius' King Conan next year.

Hmm, good point, I hadn't thought of that.

Jeff White wrote:
Notice I didn't say I wouldn't see it.

F:AT viewing at a Drafthouse?

Count me in! CROM!

Fuck do I wish King Conan was getting made!

This will never in a million years live up to Milius' Conan, but totally divorced from the weight of it's historical antecedents, I'm still skeptical it will be good but it might still be an enjoyable shitty fantasy movie. Saying it looks like a Scorpion King movie is dead on, ugh.

Basil greek-as-fuck last name's score is only put into question as the best of all time by Shore's LotR and Williams' classics.

Sweet baby Jesus this movie looks like a straight to video flick.

The original film was great. King Conan would be freakin boss.

3 words: FUCK THIS SHIT.

This is garbage. It's a re-envisioning of the original movie, and this guy is NOT Arnold. Not remotely.

Sign me up for King Conan. Reading Dark Horse's Conan, my favorite arcs were easily the ones where Conan was already King. It shows you how mature he really is. Some of my favorite lines include:

Pallantides: "Why did you want to become King when you hate government and civilization so much?" (paraphrased)

Conan: I took the crown because I could.

And..

Conan: We might have to start a war just to show them our strength.



So macho.

I reckon the new Conan guy looks pretty good for the part. He's closer to Robert E Howard's description of him than Arnie is. Still, I suspect this film isn't going to be a patch on the Arnie original. I'll still watch it though.

As a matter of interest, there was a really nice leatherbound collection of all of the Conan stories released a couple of years ago. I just noticed that they've recently brought out a similar leatherbound collection of all of Robert E Howard's other heroic characters called Conan's Brethren:

www.amazon.co.uk/Conans-Brethren-Robert-...89873/ref=pd_sim_b_1

panzerattack wrote: I reckon the new Conan guy looks pretty good for the part. He's closer to Robert E Howard's description of him than Arnie is.

Agreed, I don't remember the eye liner though.

panzerattack wrote: As a matter of interest, there was a really nice leatherbound collection of all of the Conan stories released a couple of years ago. I just noticed that they've recently brought out a similar leatherbound collection of all of Robert E Howard's other heroic characters called Conan's Brethren:

www.amazon.co.uk/Conans-Brethren-Robert-...89873/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Beautiful edition that one! My buddy has it.

panzerattack wrote: I reckon the new Conan guy looks pretty good for the part. He's closer to Robert E Howard's description of him than Arnie is. Still, I suspect this film isn't going to be a patch on the Arnie original. I'll still watch it though.

As a matter of interest, there was a really nice leatherbound collection of all of the Conan stories released a couple of years ago. I just noticed that they've recently brought out a similar leatherbound collection of all of Robert E Howard's other heroic characters called Conan's Brethren:

www.amazon.co.uk/Conans-Brethren-Robert-...89873/ref=pd_sim_b_1

I have the leatherbound The Complete Chronicles of Conan by Gollancz a couple years ago. It is really nice, and I like how they chronicle the stories how they are written. Am going to have to get the one with Howards other works for sure.