Cultural Understanding: Kiwi 101

Some of you regulars at the Fort here may have noticed that I may be a bit more direct with my comments than a lot (most) of you guys here - Frank excepted - and some may even had the odd thought crossing their mind of 'who is this crude and abusive prick'.

Some know I'm a Kiwi and write it off to that - probably without actually knowing why. Kiwis are a bunch of pretty direct people and use a lot of mild swear words as terms of endearment (being called a bastard by a mate is OK), but are pretty honest and you usually know where you stand with us ... as that whining tosser who grassed me up found out.

Anyway - here is a good news article about Tiger Woods' caddie (a Kiwi) which may make a few more of you go 'ahhhhh .... I understand now' but will defintely make you laugh. And what you need to know is that Tiger is very good mates with the guy, was down at his wedding, and has even done the odd charity event in New Zealand with him.
And note that - as you read the article heading and think 'what the fuck is this' - this is the major newspaper in the main city ... it's just how we speak !

www.nzherald.co.nz/golf/news/article.cfm...48&objectid=10548292
www.nzherald.co.nz/golf/news/article.cfm...48&objectid=10548460

And then check out the same story in a UK paper (where I live now) and note the different terminology - or rather the lack of certain words .

news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/golf/7784804.stm

Christ, if being direct and vulgar makes one a Kiwi, then I must be an uknowing expat

billyz wrote:

Christ, if being direct and vulgar makes one a Kiwi, then I must be an uknowing expat

A good test is how would it go down in your city (or Canada in general) if the word Prick was in the headline of a story of a major newspaper .... but you could indeed have a stray Kiwi/Aussie gene or two in ya.

Seeing as both my parents are 100% Greek that must be one hell of a stray gene!

billyz wrote:

Christ, if being direct and vulgar makes one a Kiwi, then I must be an uknowing expat

I thought you were a Kiwi. I mean your titan certainly ran and hid like those sheepfuckers do.

What did I tell ya - just another term of endearment .

My Titan rawdicked and and dropped your faggoty Titan's bleeding ass in the nearest dumpster.

And don't forget my fucking beer next time bitch.


Goddamn ... where's that lotion at?

billyz wrote:

My Titan rawdicked and and dropped your faggoty Titan's bleeding ass in the nearest dumpster.

The punce wasn't even at the fight.

That's exactly right. He hung back, pimped out, and with a wave of his bejewelled hand said,"attack my bitches!!!"

That's right, mine is the Mac Daddy of Titans.

WTF Southie? You gone all apologising for who you are? You getting old AND SOFT man!

Jur wrote:

WTF Southie? You gone all apologising for who you are? You getting old AND SOFT man!

Yeah - getting all mushie over putting noses out of joint here .... been to long over here in Pomgolia .

And next time you call me soft I'll be across that little piece of water and will insert your flabby dutch butt on one of your windmills (ala fairy on the Christmas tree style) ... then we can have some decent target practice while you rotate .

Southernman wrote:

And next time you call me soft I'll be across that little piece of water and will insert your flabby dutch butt on one of your windmills (ala fairy on the Christmas tree style) ... then we can have some decent target practice while you rotate .

what's all this tough talk all of a sudden, sweety? I have the view on a nice sawmill here. Would love to take your velvet behind there some time and saw some good wood. But if there's no-one in your old people's home to push your wheel chair, I'll be in the pom capital early March to play in a Spanish Civil War megagame.

You might want to try that experience.
http://www.megagame-makers.org.uk/megagame-lld.htm

It's almost as good as licking the hard bits off my cock before you swallow my cum.

Ahhhhh.... I love this website.

Jur wrote:

Southernman wrote:

And next time you call me soft I'll be across that little piece of water and will insert your flabby dutch butt on one of your windmills (ala fairy on the Christmas tree style) ... then we can have some decent target practice while you rotate .

what's all this tough talk all of a sudden, sweety? I have the view on a nice sawmill here. Would love to take your velvet behind there some time and saw some good wood. But if there's no-one in your old people's home to push your wheel chair, I'll be in the pom capital early March to play in a Spanish Civil War megagame.

You might want to try that experience.
http://www.megagame-makers.org.uk/megagame-lld.htm

It's almost as good as licking the hard bits off my cock before you swallow my cum.

Bloody europeans ..... that's what euro games do to ya .