Are you a Man-Child? Take the quiz!!!

51.

A) I never had to leave work for my games. I work for the post office.

and

2) If there was a question about my reations in Werewolf in the past, I woulda been screwed.

WAAAAAAAA....

1) How many sealed copies do you have in your game collection?
a) none 0 points
b) less than 3 1 point
c) less than 10 3 points
d) more than 10 5 points

0

2) Do you have multiple copies of more than one game?
a) no 0 points
b) yes 5 points

0

3) Have you ever sold a game to thin out your collection and then you have bought it again?

a) no 0 points
b) yes 5 points

0

4) Which of the following statements best describes you when you put your game components in baggies?

a) I don't put the components in baggies , I just keep them in the box 0 points
b) I put them in baggies, but any baggie will do 3 points
c) I search out a specific brand of baggie to bag my components 5 points

3

5) How many times do you use Online package tracking to track a recent game order?

a) I never track my game order online 0 points
b) I will usually track the order if it hasn't arrived in a timely manner 1 point
c) I track my game order daily 3 points
d) I track my game order multiple times per day 5 points

3

6) Have you ever left work early to go pick up a game order package at the post office or one waiting for you on your doorstep?

a) No. 0 points
b) Yes 3 points
c) Yes and I used a day of vacation 5 points
d) yes and I was fired 10 points

0

7) Which statement best describes you when receiving a new game order package?

a) I set it aside, have a beer, eat dinner and open it up later 0 points
b) I rip it open, look at it for a few minutes and then relax 3 points
c) I go get a special knife and use extreme care as to not damage the game box inside
open slowly then check the packing slip to see if I was overcharged. If the order is from Boulder games I get a glass of water to have ready while I eat the Fireball and read the rules. 5 points

d) I come home to find my wife nude and waiting for me with a gourmet meal but I totally ignore her as I open the package and pour over the components and rules. 10 points

3

8) Boardgame Website membership:

a) I have been banned from a boardgame website -10 points
b) I check the websites every now and then but on a whole they bore me 0 points
c) member in good standing on a major boardgame site 3 points
d) Member and major contributor to a boardgame website 5 points
e) Took out a 2nd mortgage to buy a microbadge on BGG 20 points

3

9) Convention attentance

a) never been to a boardgame convention 0 points
b) I have been to a boardgame convention once 3 points
c) I have attended BGG Con 5 points
d) I have attended the Gathering of Friends 10 points


0

10) During a game night I drink:

a) a domestic beer 0 points
b) an imported beer 3 points
c) a soft drink 5 points
d) a Yoo Hoo 10 points

0 water?

11) During a game night I play wearing:

a) casual or dress shoes 0 points
b) socks only 3 points
c) Flip flops or sandals 5 points
d) White reeboks 10 points

0

12) Which statement best describes your game night:

a) Really a Poker night with beer, bullshit, and lots of laughs 0 points
b) A social event but with a focus on gaming 3 points
c) A strategy session where conversation is frowned upon 5 points

3

13) Have you ever wrote a Session report?

a) What is a session report? 0 points
b) No 1 point
c) Yes 5 points

1

14) Have you ever done any sort of statistical analysis of games?

a) No 0 points
b) Yes 20 points

0 I FUCKIN' HATE IT!!

15. What is your opinion of Clearclaw?

a) Who??? 0 points
b) A nut 1 points
C) He is the DATA (Star Trek Character) of BGG 3 points
d) brilliant 5 points

1 but I don't mind him

16. A dog eats one of your boardgames. How do you react?

a) You hug the dog, laugh and say "You crazy mutt!" 0 points
b) You put the dog outside after saying "BAD DOG!" 1 point
c) You cry 3 points
d) You shoot the dog and log onto ebay to find a replacement with free shipping 25 points

1

17. Your wife or girlfriend cleans the house and in the process reorganizes your game collection: How do you react?

a) You kiss her and take her out to dinner 0 points
b) You have a look of concern 1 point
c) You brush past her to check the alphabetical status of the games 3 points
d)You divorce her and make a post on BGG about crazy wives 10 points

0

18) Collection size:

a) Under 12 games 0 points
b) Under 25 games 1 points
c Under 100 games 3 points
d) Over 100 games 5 points

5

19) Your house catches on fire! What do you do!

a) get everyone out as soon as possible and call 911 0 points
b) make sure everyone is out and try to get important documents 5 points
c) Get Agricola and run! 10 points

0

20) Which best describes your attitude toward the Boardgaming Hobby

a) Hard to call it a hobby, just something for fun 0 points
b) Can be fun but I am slightly concerned with the direction the hobby is going 5 points

c) We need a Boardgame representative at the U.N.!!! 20 points

1

24

Were is Mad Gamer? Is he going to challenge his opposer or slink off in shame?

Were is Mad Gamer? Is he going to challenge his opposer or slink off in shame?

Who Mr. Bistro or my brother?

This question should be added to the test:

How many hobby web pages (not just about board games) do you access on a daily level?
a) Zero or one. 0 points
b) Two. 1 point
c) Three to five. 3 points
d) Six and more. 5 points

the*mad*gamer wrote:

Were is Mad Gamer? Is he going to challenge his opposer or slink off in shame?

Who Mr. Bistro or my brother?

Your brother?
The plot thickens.

Is he your identicle twin except for a mostache and devil goatie?

G fucking Schlosser Rules the Board Game world

Steve,

Well, if I'm totally honest I have to say I score a 33.

But what the heck Steve, you have this for if your house catches on fire:

make sure everyone is out and try to get important documents = 5 points

Now tell me how this somehow this rates equal to attending BGG.com in also scoring 5 points??? Are you kidding? I'm calling that out as BS. Please.

And attendance at any sort of boardgame "con" deserves at least a score of 15 or better in my book. Who wastes their vacation at a boardgame convention? And if someone has more than even 50 boardgames, that score should start being jacked up exponentially too.

Anyway, the fact that I write for BGN screwed me. So you take that away, the house fire question away and some other dubious scoring and I'm sub 20, baby. (LOL)

And where's the points assigned for having your own podcast? Conveniently left that out, didn't ya Steve? That's worth about 50 points right there all by itself.

---

Oh. And there no way you score 11, either. Maybe 111. But definitely not 11.

I'm not reading all this shit. Anyone score more than 83?

Your brother?
The plot thickens.

Is he your identicle twin except for a mostache and devil goatie?

HA!!! That's about it!

Steve,

Well, if I'm totally honest I have to say I score a 33.

But what the heck Steve, you have this for if your house catches on fire:

make sure everyone is out and try to get important documents = 5 points

Now tell me how this somehow this rates equal to attending BGG.com in also scoring 5 points??? Are you kidding? I'm calling that out as BS. Please.

And attendance at any sort of boardgame "con" deserves at least a score of 15 or better in my book. Who wastes their vacation at a boardgame convention? And if someone has more than even 50 boardgames, that score should start being jacked up exponentially too.

Anyway, the fact that I write for BGN screwed me. So you take that away, the house fire question away and some other dubious scoring and I'm sub 20, baby. (LOL)

And where's the points assigned for having your own podcast? Conveniently left that out, didn't ya Steve? That's worth about 50 points right there all by itself.

---

Oh. And there no way you score 11, either. Maybe 111. But definitely not 11.

As to the fire question, if you are taking time to get documents during a fire the idea is that you are a little too concerned with material things over what really matters the people living with you. Why put yourself in danger over some silly documents of which all most can be replaced? Especially in this day and age when a copy of everything is online.

Now this relates with attending BGG Con in that the people are glorifying material things (games) over anything else at the moment.

You said it yourself why waste your vacation playing games with strangers? Wouldn't the time be better spent on a vacation with your family? The corelation is putting material things over what really matters and this is a key characteristic of the man child.

You may be right that some of the points should have been higher or lower but in general I think we get a pretty good picture of where you are on the man child scale.

As far as my podcast, everyone knows that my whole podcast was devoted to poking fun at the man child. Had I spent hours on strategy over comedy and music you may have had a point but my podcast was just pure entertainment and you and others often criticized it for the LACK of game material.

You know, one thing that I think put The Ultimate Podcast head and shoulders above all other gaming podcasts (and most written material too) is that Steve was totally aware that he was an entertainer, that games are about entertainment, and a podcast about gaming should be entertaining- he wasn't a journalist or evangelist, he wasn't trying to impart these nuggets of fucking gamer wisdom or insight...he wanted to make you laugh and enjoy the program while also talking about games a lot. Despite what his detractors said, who probably never bothered to listen to the show in the first place.

Most gamers, come to find out, don't want to have fun. They want to be made to feel like pushing around cardboard pieces is somehow "important" or "intellectual". It isn't.

In a way the test is perfect as is. Sitting down and making it work as a form of measurement is for that other site.

Well, I managed to get a 28. I did attend a boardgaming convention back in 1993 or so (got nailed there), and some of the other items added up. Thanks for making me fucking go down and count my boardgame collection; at least I'm under 100.

--Mike L.

I can finally check "Make sure Mike Lawson got nailed at a '93 gaming convention" off my to-do list.